By Roger Currie

“But Minister, the general public needs to have evidence that lungfish can survive and are robust enough to stand the test of time “, they have a right to know and we have a perfect example of that, right here in the aquarium specimen, it could be used in our EIS to allay Senator Campbells concerns about their survival?, after all Minister we don’t want the public accusing us of being environmental vandals now do we minister?.

“Yes Humphrey, we certainly don’t, my constituents know that I am the Minister for lungfish protection and I’m glad you thought of such a unique way of showing that we are applying the Westminster system right here, in the fish tank, in full public view too I might add, we must ensure that we are not hiding anything Humphrey.”

“Yes Minister, I have thought of that, that is why I asked the work experience glaziers to make sure the aquarium has transparent glass, to demonstrate our adherence to the Westminster system of open, accountable governance Minister, you know how reactionary a certain extreme echelon of the populace can be about the rights of fish, Minister, and we don’t want to create another false paradise now, do we Minister?.”

“No Humphrey, perish the thought, but what about all those documents that we are claiming as ‘cabinet in confidence?” Aren’t they relevant?

“Ah Minister, surely you understand that the purpose of the FOI ACT is to ensure that the Westminster system is accountable, and this Act guarantees that the people can gain the documentation we want them to have, what we don’t want, is for them to gain documentation we don’t want them to have, and the ACT has been specifically designed to ensure that we give them what they think they want, and we do this by deciding what is relevant and what is not relevant to their inquiries, its all very simple really, the only thing that the general populace don’t know is that the bureaucratic meaning of FOI is ’ FOR OUR INTERESTS ‘, the last thing we need Minister is for the riff raff to think that they should be involved in making very important decisions which could effect the lives of thousands of public servants, not to mention Ministers, Minister!